Former Prime Minister Liz Truss recently resigned after causing the current economic crises facing the U.K. and prompting the value of the pound to plummet. In an overwhelming wave of support, a majority of the 170,000 dues-paying members of the Conservative Party chose to reelect Boris Johnson over Rishi Sunak as the next prime minister of the United Kingdom. In his acceptance speech, former Prime Minister Johnson announced his resignation from the position for the second time, citing a realization that he “would much rather be ziplining” and that if he changes his mind he “can always be reelected in a month when the next prime minister resigns.”

“Boris blew the second chance we gave him,” said U.K. citizen David Collins. “I will never forget this travesty. I only voted for him because I feel nostalgic for 2019. Why can’t we go back? Luckily I won’t have to feel nostalgic for 2019 much longer because 2023 is gonna be so great! The future looks bright.”