Critics Claim Lettuce Truss’ Political Career Is “Salad” After Resignation

Written by: Kaz Nuckowski

Given economic turmoil, record low approval ratings, and the resignation of her Home Secretary, Lettuce Truss had no choice but to resign Friday, ending her historical …


Netflix to Split All of Its Content Into Smaller Channels

Written by: Romella Sagatelian

“Why would I want this segmented business model when I can watch entire movies in 328 shorts on TikTok?” asked Lee.Photo by Julia Wong Netflix recently …


Local Ghosts Tired of Recent Ghost hunter Paparazzi Boom

Written by: Maria Dhilla

Due to a surge in paranormal activity, ghost hunters have become far more popular at UCSD, looking high and low for specters who do not wish …


Starbucks Announces Pumpkin Spice Pumpkins

Written by: Isha Dhandha

“Pumpkin spice pumpkins? What’s next, pumpkin spice pumpkin spice pumpkins?” wondered one customer.Photo by Amit Roth On October 1st, Starbucks announced an addition to their highly …


Cabal Controlling Rotten Tomatoes Outed After “Black Adam” Release

Written by: Jacob King

Ahead of its premiere, Black Adam received a Rotten Tomatoes score of 52%. “I remember watching Man of Steel when I was eight years old. I’ve …


UCSD Dining Hall Hires Skeleton Crew

Written by: Matthew Ware

“The new employees have been really skimpy with the portions,” shared Belmont. “The burritos are bare bones.”Photo by Julia Wong Across UCSD, dining halls have struggled …


Local Man Discovers He, Too, Has Hormones

Written by: Claire McNerney

“Men have hormones?” Misenberger asked. “That’s endo-cringe.”Photo by James Woolley A mob of angry senior citizen protesters, armed with signs reading “There are only two genders” …


Vampire Appreciation Club Promotes Dress Code Change

Written by: Alyssa Zaldivar

“I want you to grind really hard,” said Jerome Powell, chair of the Federal Reserve.Photo by Romella Sagatelian During UC San Diego’s first week of instruction, …


Cells Have Feelings, Too

Written by: Sharon Roth

You are made of cells. On the most fundamental level, everything is made of cells — the plants you forget to water, the mold growing on …

Top Ten

Top Ten Cheap Halloween Decorations

Written by: The MQ

Grape jack-o’-lantern Dirt from outside Christmas decorations with angry eyebrows drawn on An oddly-shaped trash bag that definitely does not have a body in it The …