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Local Christians Claim Halloween as a Precursor to Christmas
“I think I finally have my Jesus costume nailed down,” said one trick-or-treater.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala Last Sunday, a local Christian group called “Holy Spirit Halloweeners” …
Volkswagen Tries to Recall Cars
Can’t find big enough cups
Italy Elects Mussolini’s Reanimated Corpse as Prime Minister
Last week, Giorgia Meloni, who was expected to become Italy’s first female prime minister, stepped down as head of the Brothers of Italy Party. Meloni made …
Ninth College Construction Hits Rock Bottom
“Yeah, there were a few preventable issues,” admitted one engineer. “We probably should’ve done a dry run first.”Photo by Sharon Roth UC San Diego students who …
Competitive Eating Is Good for the Economy
I am an American hero. I am the one who keeps local businesses afloat during COVID-19, who provides the money to put kids through school, who …
Top Ten Bumper Stickers
Arrgh, baby overboard! Hey, my eyes are up here! This machine kills fascists Proud leaded gas user Keep Tahoe out of California Booze Cruise Champion 2008 …
Top Ten Things Your Orientation Leader Forgot to Mention
The gravity doesn’t work in York Hall UCSD is the Harvard of the West Refilling the Brita filter is a sign of weakness Our dining halls …
Disney Announces Yet Another Muppet Movie
“I don’t really know what I want the plot to be yet,” said Jamesin, “but I know that Kermit’s gonna sing.”Photo by Sharon Roth Last week, …
I Think I’ll Be a Witch for Halloween This Year vs. Thou Art a Wretched Sinner, Utterly Unworthy of God’s Love
Point: I Think I’ll Be a Witch for Halloween This Year I’m not sure. I think it could be fun. I have a lot of ideas. …
