Due to a surge in paranormal activity, ghost hunters have become far more popular at UCSD, looking high and low for specters who do not wish to be found.
“Forget being stuck in the stairwell because of my secret unfinished business, these ‘ghost hunters’ are the worst part of being dead,” said local ghost Boo Ridley Scott. “They’ll ask you to confirm your appearance on film and then wave a camera through your face! The disrespect makes me so angry I turn off the lights, which only makes them more demanding.
“We can’t even scare them off because that’s what they want! I wear the same clothes all the time, so they never get new photos, but it’s not effective. I’m always wearing the same bloody clothes!”
Scott’s friend, fellow ghost Theodor Geisel, agreed through a Ouija board. “The other day I saw one pap, two paps, red paps, and blue paps, and none of them were able to banish my spirit from Geisel’s renovated lobby — which, by the way, looks terrible. If you wouldn’t mind rearranging it to the way it was before I died — ” Geisel then caused an earthquake, disrupting the Ouija board.
M. Q. Dhilla is the embodiment of the newspaper come to life, but that's a secret, so don’t effin’ snitch.