Articles
Professor Branches Out to Streaming Professionally After Lecture Recordings Succeed
“I got banned from Twitch chat,” alleged one student. “Can I still pass the class?”Photo by Amit Roth The COVID-19 pandemic forced many aspects of modern …
Throwing Food on Paintings Is an Ineffectual Protest vs. It Makes the Paintings Taste Better
POINT: Throwing Food on Paintings Is an Ineffectual Protest I can’t believe people do this. This publicity stunt does nothing to talk about climate change. You …
UCSD to Sell Triton2Go Boxes as Christmas Presents for Future Biologists
“When they said UCSD had a weird culture, this is not what I thought they meant,” said Wheatthins.Photo by Romella Sagatelian Last week, HDH announced that …
ITS Announces Hiring of Carrier Pigeons to Improve ResNet Speeds
“My carrier pigeon isn’t helping at all. It built a ResNest in my dorm!” exclaimed one student.Photo by James Woolley In response to growing complaints, UCSD’s …
Netflix to Split All of Its Content Into Smaller Channels
“Why would I want this segmented business model when I can watch entire movies in 328 shorts on TikTok?” asked Lee.Photo by Julia Wong Netflix recently …
Starbucks Announces Pumpkin Spice Pumpkins
“Pumpkin spice pumpkins? What’s next, pumpkin spice pumpkin spice pumpkins?” wondered one customer.Photo by Amit Roth On October 1st, Starbucks announced an addition to their highly …
UCSD Dining Hall Hires Skeleton Crew
“The new employees have been really skimpy with the portions,” shared Belmont. “The burritos are bare bones.”Photo by Julia Wong Across UCSD, dining halls have struggled …
Local Man Discovers He, Too, Has Hormones
“Men have hormones?” Misenberger asked. “That’s endo-cringe.”Photo by James Woolley A mob of angry senior citizen protesters, armed with signs reading “There are only two genders” …
Vampire Appreciation Club Promotes Dress Code Change
“I want you to grind really hard,” said Jerome Powell, chair of the Federal Reserve.Photo by Romella Sagatelian During UC San Diego’s first week of instruction, …
Timothée Chalamet Goes Outside, Buys Milk
“I can’t believe he bought cow’s milk,” declared Lamborda. “I’m still a fan, but just a little bit less.”Photo by Julia Wong This morning, Timothée Chalamet …
