Articles
Sleep Tight, Don’t Let the Bed Bugs Bite! vs. All Families Deserve to Be Fed
POINT: Sleep Tight, Don’t Let the Bed Bugs Bite! Within a week of moving into my new home, it was evident to me that I had …
Netflix Responds to Criticism of Jeffrey Dahmer Series by Lengthening Show’s Title
Netflix recently announced they would be partnering with Monster Energy to fund season two.Photo by Amit Roth This September, Netflix released Dahmer — Monster: The Jeffrey …
Scientist Evolves to Eat Microplastics, Becomes World’s First Human 3D Printer
“Life in plastic — it’s fantastic,” said Dr. Gabriel Barbecue.Photo by James Woolley Last month, Dr. Gabriel Barbecue checked himself into the hospital after experiencing severe …
Return Black Friday to Its Roots
If one more person disrespects the internationally-recognized holiday of Black Friday, I am going to lose it. The contempt when you dismiss this patriotic purchasing day …
UCSD Announces New “DILF”-Focused Research Center to Promote Equality
“This project has fathered many other studies,” said Simgod Friend.Photo by James Woolley Following the reveal of the Human Milk Institute, UCSD announced the Human Observation …
It’s Not a Phage, Mom
I’m not doing this because it’s a viral trend! It’s not infectious, my friends haven’t caught it, and no one is putting me up to this. …
Congress Announces a Bipartisan Skincare Line
“Wearing this skincare product makes me feel 40 years younger. I might even start voting Democrat again,” testified Senator McConnell.Photo by Julia Wong House Speaker Nancy …
Student Explodes After Discovering They’re An Extra on The Truman Show
“What? It was time to BeReal,” said Snot.Photo by Sharon Roth A large commotion that “wasn’t a fire alarm for once” was reported by Sixth College …
SPIN Scooter Claims First Life at UCSD Campus
“My philosophy professor asked me what I would do when faced with the trolley problem,” said one SPIN user. “Today I found out.”Photo by Julia Wong …
Professor Branches Out to Streaming Professionally After Lecture Recordings Succeed
“I got banned from Twitch chat,” alleged one student. “Can I still pass the class?”Photo by Amit Roth The COVID-19 pandemic forced many aspects of modern …
