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UCSD Student Fails COGS 107A, Turing Test

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A study conducted by the Cognitive Science Student Association in adjunct with Associated Students as part of their grade distribution collection has determined that third-year UC …

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President of UCs Makes $570,000, Can Almost Afford UC Tuition

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University of California President Janet Napolitano has almost reached her goal of funding her first year of college at a UC. Napolitano, who claims she couldn’t …

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Freshman Pre-Med Calls It, UCSD’s Official Time of Death Oct. 9, 10:28 PM

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On October 9, Michael Zhao officially called it. Listing the time of death as 10:28 pm, Zhao loudly proclaimed that UCSD truly was UC Socially Dead. …

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Undeclared Major Impacted

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UC San Diego announced yesterday that it is declaring its “Undeclared” major impacted due to record enrollment and unprecedented demand for the major. This comes after …

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Disgruntled Tour Guide Leads Group Up Peterson Hill

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In an ongoing campus tour, third-year undergraduate tour guide Irene Montani led her 24-person tour group up the entirety of Peterson Hill in frustration at her …