Campus
Lab Students Upset That Wearing Lab Coats Does Not Improve Midterm Scores
“But they emphasized PPE so much during lecture!” said Kartashev.Photo by Jack Yang This past Monday UCSD was “filled with shouts of incredulity and misery” as …
UCSD Claims $20,000 Tuition Hike a “Spooky-Season Prank”
Despite publishing the tuition hike as a prank video, Khosla did not go viral, nor increase his subscriber count.Photo by Jack Yang UCSD has recently backtracked …
UCSD Ranked #1 University by “Getting Hit by a Bike” Magazine
Reporters state that as soon as the interview was finished, another bike crash occurred outside the studio.Photo by Jack Yang UC San Diego has been honored with …
Out-of-State Freshman Won’t Shut Up About How She’s a ‘Cali Girl’ Now
“If Elaine says ‘hella’ one more time, I’m gonna split her surfboard in half,” lamented her roommate.Photo by Jack Yang UCSD Freshman Elaine Eaken’s roommates have …
Local Pastor Promotes Foot Fetish to Combat Premarital Sex
“Remember to leave a little space for Jesus. And socks. It’s sexier with the socks on anyways,” said Pastor Frietche.Photo by Jack Yang This past Thursday, passing …
Hitchcock’s “The Birds” Remake to Feature Bird Scooters
Tickets for the movie start at $1, with 15 cents added per minute.Photo by Jack Yang After 56 years, the Master of Suspense’s 1963 thriller “The Birds” …
La Jolla Playhouse Premiers "Stomp 2", Featuring UCSD’s Custodial Staff
Several audience members paid for a premium package with “splash zone” seating and $80 “Stomp 2” ponchos.Photo by Jack Yang The La Jolla Playhouse recently announced …
Move-In Day Fiasco Leaves Student Swearing Off On-Campus Housing
“Guys, we should make shirts,” Rivers said, as his roommates avoided eye contact.Photo by Jack Yang After another year of working to find the perfect Move-In …
Freshman Shocked to Discover Nobody Cares About His AP Scores
“You think I can use my five on the AP Stats test for anything other than bragging rights?” asked Shultz. “I paid too much for it …
Stuart Art Collection Unveils Newest Piece to Upset Students
Augin and Carry commented that it was meant as a reminder that “there’s always time to be an inconvenience.”Photo by Jack Yang Last Tuesday morning, university …
