Campus
Recent Housing Applicant Excited To Be Judged Only by Credit Score
San Diego resident Melissa Fuller turned in a housing application for a modest studio apartment last Thursday, and is feeling positive about the process. Fuller reportedly …
Local Professor Writes Final Drunk, Only Student Who Passed Was Also Drunk
Only one student, Edward Mozkortuta, was able to obtain a passing score on a final written by UCSD Professor Mark Pijan. Students who took the final …
Chinese Students Protest Dalai Lama Speech by Annexing Tibetan Student Association
The Chinese Student and Scholars Association has stepped up its recent protests against the 14th Dalai Lama being named the keynote speaker at this year’s Commencement …
Police Investigate UCSD, Still Unsure If Arsons Were Crime or Civic Duty
On the morning of April 17, UCSD students awoke to learn that four of the Fairbanks coffee carts had gone up in flames in a coordinated …
Graduating Senior Finds Graduated Cylinder More Accurate Than “Eyeballing It”
Last week, graduating senior Hank Marlon had a huge discovery when he was about to enter his last laboratory class, BIMM 121. He came forward in …
Graduating Student More Computer Than Scientist
Graduating computer science major Ilan Hannan was struck by the realization this week that his degree prepared him to be more of a computer than a …
First Year Student Sure They’ll Have Enough Time to Pack All Their Stuff in the Next Hour
After a week of “definitely not putting it off,” UCSD first year Brian Mannard has decided to begin the process of moving out, approximately one hour …
Study Shows Only Divine Intervention Can Make You Pass This Class
Researchers announced on Wednesday that their extensive data on your history in MATH 20C has revealed that only an act of God could turn your grade …
Graduating Senior Regrets Time Not Spent Complaining About UCSD
Graduating UCSD senior Cameron Phloss recently publicly admitted that when reflecting on his four years in college, he found that much of his time was wasted …
Local Student Swears Next Quarter Will Be Better for 12th Quarter in a Row
On Thursday, area cognitive science major Gwen Bradford said that “surely next quarter I’ll get my shit together,” following a quarter of unmet goals and unimpressive …
