Campus
Police Investigate UCSD, Still Unsure If Arsons Were Crime or Civic Duty
On the morning of April 17, UCSD students awoke to learn that four of the Fairbanks coffee carts had gone up in flames in a coordinated …
Graduating Senior Finds Graduated Cylinder More Accurate Than “Eyeballing It”
Last week, graduating senior Hank Marlon had a huge discovery when he was about to enter his last laboratory class, BIMM 121. He came forward in …
Graduating Student More Computer Than Scientist
Graduating computer science major Ilan Hannan was struck by the realization this week that his degree prepared him to be more of a computer than a …
First Year Student Sure They’ll Have Enough Time to Pack All Their Stuff in the Next Hour
After a week of “definitely not putting it off,” UCSD first year Brian Mannard has decided to begin the process of moving out, approximately one hour …
Study Shows Only Divine Intervention Can Make You Pass This Class
Researchers announced on Wednesday that their extensive data on your history in MATH 20C has revealed that only an act of God could turn your grade …
Graduating Senior Regrets Time Not Spent Complaining About UCSD
Graduating UCSD senior Cameron Phloss recently publicly admitted that when reflecting on his four years in college, he found that much of his time was wasted …
Local Student Swears Next Quarter Will Be Better for 12th Quarter in a Row
On Thursday, area cognitive science major Gwen Bradford said that “surely next quarter I’ll get my shit together,” following a quarter of unmet goals and unimpressive …
Professor Unable to Connect to Projector, Unable to Lecture
Last Monday, David Queology, a professor at UCSD, told reporters that he completely lost his ability to lecture that morning due to irreparable technical difficulties. Queology …
Student Stuck in Infinite Loop in Tioga Stairwell
On Sunday, the Tioga residence house advisors stated that even more residents are following “elevator etiquette” after one of the two elevators was shut down in …
Local College Club Told to Waste University Money, Wastes University Money
UCSD has reported a 20,000 dollar loss since the beginning of December that is unrelated to professors’ pay, dorm renovations, or raising the quality of food …
