Local Man Studies Abroad, Experiences No Jet Lag Due to God-Awful Sleep Schedule


Written by: Stephen Lightfoot

Maples gets up each morning for a “light jog” around the neighborhood to see the sights, “just like anyone else would.”
Photo by Jessica Ma

After paying $1,159 and undergoing a 6,000-mile flight, UCSD student Tyler Maples has reportedly been feeling “just fine” after embarking on his study abroad journey to South Korea. Maples, who is attending Yonsei University in Seoul, has credited his “relative feelings of averageness” with his lack of jet lag. “I’m honestly pretty amazed I’ve been able to adjust so quickly,” Maples remarked, drinking water and refusing any caffeinated beverages. “I still need to, you know, learn how to speak Korean, but at least I won’t have to learn it while sleep deprived.”

Whereas some students arrived early to acclimate to the change in time, Maples arrived on the day of orientation, prepared for the worst. “Flights were like $300 cheaper to get there the day of orientation,” Maples explained, “and that right there is $300 I could use for drinking money. So I figured that I would just have to deal for, like, a week of hell and sleeping at odd hours of the day. But when I arrived, I actually felt well rested for the first time in four years. I went to bed and got up at a fairly reasonable hour, and ever since that day, I’ve been in bed by 10:30, and up at 7:00. Sometimes if I’m feeling really tired, I’ll push it back to 7:30, but that’s the absolute latest I can sleep ‘till.”

Fellow students attending the study abroad program with Maples have been feeling and increased level of agitation towards Maples and his newfound restfulness. “No shit, I’m angry,” one student who wished to remain anonymous stated. “I’m tired, and I’m fed up with the fact that Tyler can just waltz in here all calm and collected, when most of us are shaking because we had too much caffeine or slumping over from lack of sleep.” Amanda Truman, who was Maples’ seatmate on the plane, revealed that she witnessed a complete transformation during the 15 hour flight. “Not only did Tyler not sleep the whole plane ride,” Truman said, “his mood only seemed to improve over time. He became more relaxed, and I swear to God his muscles doubled in size as we got closer to Seoul. Maybe I’m exaggerating that last part, but I swear he’s just gotten more powerful now that he’s actually wide awake during the day.”

Though the academic year in South Korea has just begun, Maples has become a firm believer in getting eight hours of sleep a day, and has credited it for an exponential increase in grades, higher overall satisfaction with life, and increased muscle mass. “Not only am I learning more about the political and economic complexities of Asia,” Maples said, “I’m also now able to bench press the weight of four to five small children, which is neat. Had it not been for getting my sleep schedule back on track, I would have never known such gains. I’m hoping that by this time next year, I’ll be able to speak Korean semi-fluently, and deadlift the weight of a horse.”

Editor in Chief Emeritus at The MQ

Stephen Lightfoot is Editor in Chief of The MQ.

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