Going Pre-med is the Hardest Route a College Student Can Take

Out of all potential career paths college students can take, there’s no doubt that pre-med is the absolute hardest. We have it the roughest out of all college “majors,” if you can even call them that. Let’s face it, we all know that most classes and majors in college are useless, such as critical genders studies and literature. There is no career off the top of my head where having any knowledge of gender theory and the English language helps, especially in medicine. When am I ever going to treat someone with a different gender identity than me or use the English language?

As a pre-med, I only focus on tough, life-applicable courses that the average Joe cares about, such as organic chemistry and metabolic biochemistry. There’s no time for pre-meds to expand their horizons with a political science class. Not only is it time consuming and useless (being pre-med requires me to be only interested in STEM), it also means interacting with slimy pre-law people desperate to prove that getting into law school is harder than getting into med school. For the record, all the weeder classes that us pre-meds take make our path more difficult, and therefore, automatically make pre-meds better than everyone else. Pre-law students might have a tougher time than people studying environmental systems (what even are those?), but to say their path exceeds the one pre-meds take is, putting it mildly, an utter lie.

Counterpoint: Objection, Your Honor

If anyone took some time to actually look at the evidence, they’d see how much harder it is to be pre-law. Everyone who’s pre-med takes these classes that are all about facts and memorization, which any eight year old could figure out if they studied a little bit. And I don’t see how that prepares anyone to slice up my body, I don’t care what they know if their hands are shaky from the ‘supplements’ they take to endure their so-called ‘stressful’ lifestyle. I’m tired of this med school “doctors are important” elitism — without lawyers, who would handle their malpractice cases?

Meanwhile, we have pre-law students, such as myself. Unlike in pre-med classes, my classes don’t deal with simple objective truth, in fact, truth is completely disregarded amongst pre-law students, forcing us to be creative instead of just having to read a textbook or seven. Furthermore, we don’t get to spend twelve extra years in academia preparing for our careers like a child learning to walk. We get kicked out onto the streets after only seven years of higher education. And lawyers don’t even get to drug their clients to make their common-people hysterics easier to deal with. With that, members of the jury, it’s ultimately up to you. Would you rather suffer through school to be a stuffy know-it-all or a backstabbing liar? I rest my case, your honor.