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UCSD Begins Construction on New Housing Crisis
“Don’t worry, these dorms are also filled with asbestos,” said Jhaveri after describing the new student housing development on top of Tenaya Hall.Photo by Jack Yang …
UCSD Happy With Giving Day, Will Implement UCSD Taking Day
UCSD Happy With Giving Day, Will Implement UCSD Taking Day After declaring the first annual UCSD Giving Day a success, administrators are implementing a new event …
Study Finds Microwave in Break Room Dripping in Chili
Study Finds Microwave in Break Room Dripping in Chili Early this morning the communal microwave in the Scripps Medical Laboratory break room was found to be …
Local Glass-Breaking Business is a “Smashing Success”
In response to concerns over possible injuries from broken glass, the store owners reassured customers that “there is nothing to worry about. We have a waiver …
UC Chancellors Appoint Themselves as Permanent Commencement Speakers
On the topic of how the graduates will succeed in life, Khosla said, “You will not make it on a boat, you will not make it …
UCSD Junior Ready for Farewell Tour
UCSD Junior Ready for Farewell Tour Local third-year student Dave Gracey has reportedly been found “preparing for his farewell tour.” “It’s this stupid thing he’s planning …
Area Woman Named Summer Prepared for Three Months of Dad Jokes
Area Woman Named Summer Prepared for Three Months of Dad Jokes Local graduating UCSD senior Summer Irvine is reportedly preparing for a new season of jokes …
RNC to Propose Monthly Virginity Tests for Women
McDaniel told reporters, “It takes a village to raise a child, and luckily my uterus is owned by our great village of the US of A!”Photo …
Area Man Eagerly Awaits New Album From Retired Band
Area Man Eagerly Awaits New Album From Retired Band San Diego local Alex Peartlee has expressed excitement for the next studio album by the Canadian rock …
Bernie Sanders Expected to be Crucified and Resurrected in First Democratic Primary Debate
After three days, polling showed that Bernie Sanders’ popularity rose again.Photo by Jessica Ma As the first Democratic primary debate of the 2020 election season approaches, …
