In response to concerns over possible injuries from broken glass, the store owners reassured customers that “there is nothing to worry about. We have a waiver for that.”
Photo by Hannah Lykins
While most haberdasheries focus on providing their customers with men’s clothing and men’s clothing accessories, the “Crash Haberdashery and Have-A-Smashery” from Solana Beach has embraced the needs of a new generation and provides customers with something more practical: a chance to “break some shit.”
Owned and operated by George and Kevin Mc- Schmidtlebop, two brothers and San Diego natives, “The Crash” provides an opportunity for a cathartic release of “all those pent-up emotions you’ve been suppressing.” For $20, the McScmidtlebop brothers will provide participants with a metal bat, catcher’s gear, some eye protection, and five minutes in a room full of glass breakables. “Lots of folks just want to do some smashing,” said Kevin Mc-Schmidtlebop, “That doesn’t mean they’re bad folks. Let them smash, I say.”
The McShmidtlebops have stood by those words, allowing residents of Solana Beach to enjoy a real romp in their store. “You know, I was really upset that my boss gutted the dental plan,” remarked Tristan Gallergor, a frequent customer at The Crash, “and I was even more upset when he promoted his nephew instead of me, but at least I can come here and really demolish some stained-glass windows.”
While the Crash’s new business model has made the store extremely successful, it marks a sharp turn away from the work done by the haberdashery for the past 30 years. “When we opened the store up all those years ago, there was a real market for small items related to sewing,” George commented. “I mean, we were selling buttons by the barrel-load, but the market changes. And so us haberdashers must haber-adapt.” Now, the brothers remain fully committed to their glass-breaking service. Every morning the brothers wake up early and do their rounds to local thrift stores and second-hand shops, picking up any glass they can find before their shop opens in the early afternoon, when “smashing time” begins and continues until 9 p.m. sharp. Kevin admitted that “it can be a hard day’s work, but if I’m ever too worn out I just blow off some steam on the glass jars we got a few days ago.”
Sources say the Crash Haberdashery and Have- A-Smashery has become increasingly popular, as people reportedly have lined up around the block to get a few minutes to “tap into their ever-growing lust for primal carnage.” There is only so much glass in Solana Beach, so tourists need to visit the McSchmidtlebop brothers before they break it all.
Flattened in a distro cart accident, the MQ replaced his bones with leftover printer ink. With his increased lank, Matt has become a pivotal writer for the MQ through his fluidity. Whether demonstrated through his mastery of satire or being used as a keycard when we lock ourselves out of the office, Matt is a key asset to the writing team.