UCSD Begins Construction on New Housing Crisis

Written by: Summer Davis

“Don’t worry, these dorms are also filled with asbestos,” said Jhaveri after describing the new student housing development on top of Tenaya Hall.
Photo by Jack Yang

As the school year comes to an end, UCSD is gearing up for its next big construction goal: manufacture a housing crisis in La Jolla before the start of September.

“We’ve been preparing for this since 2017,” said HDH Executive Director Hemlata Jhaveri. “That was when we first discovered the joy of over-enrolling students.”

The impact of UCSD’s decision to enroll more students than they had resources to serve was first felt in 2018, as a wave of students moving off campus caused rent prices to increase by $300 per month in the La Jolla area. Housing was similarly unavailable on campus, as dorms were filled by students, construction equipment, and sometimes, air conditioning.

Now, the university is ready to “abandon current students to nature’s will” since they will focus on students that will be entering Eighth College in 2030.

“We guaranteed housing for everyone. But we didn’t say where the housing was,” Jhaveri said, before driving a bus full of students to UCLA’s dorms.

UCSD administration argued that not being able to afford things is “a valuable character-building feature of the UCSD experience that is shaping the leaders and innovators of tomorrow.”

“This is the price students pay to live in a beach town,” said communications Representative Christine Clark. “They should expect to pay the same rates as all those celebrities and college chancellors living in La Jolla Shores. In exchange for not having an apartment, they get to surf our sick waves.”

UCSD attempted to address its first housing crisis by paying students to move into off-campus housing, a plan that left many students in limbo for weeks due to the university’s failure to increase transportation at the same rate. They project that stress levels will double this year as affordable off-campus housing joins parking spaces in becoming nonexistent.

“A $3000 scholarship to leave campus would cover rent for two months in La Jolla,” said third-year student Jamila Kingston. “And that’s only if you have three people in the living room and charge the dog for utilities.”

“I’m going to accept it anyway,” she added. “I hate this school and I want them to pay me to leave. That’s how it should be.”

In response to criticism of their housing crisis plan, UCSD’s Housing, Dining, and Hospitality department encouraged students to look on the bright side of being poor.

“There’s housing available in Gliderport if students bring a tent,” said Clark. “If they’re creative enough, there’s housing all over the streets of San Diego. At UCSD, we encourage our students to practice free thinking and problem solving, and we’re pleased to extend this opportunity to all Tritons.”

The housing crisis plan is expected to bump UCSD’s rankings in U.S. News & World Reports from a seven to a five on the “Easiest School to Leave” scale.

“At UCSD, we pride ourselves on our stellar graduation rate,” said Jhaveri. “We excel at getting students off of this campus as quickly as possible.”

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