College Student Joins 57 Student Organizations for Free Food, Shocked to Discover They Have Commitments


Written by: Ayushi Banerjee

Mann was reportedly confused when the Prelaw Society asked her when she was coming for mock debates.
Photo by Jack Yang

Incoming first year at UC San Diego, Frayse Mann, has signed up to be a member of 57 student organizations over the course of Welcome Week. Following the conclusion of the Welcome Week events, Mann was “shocked and overwhelmed” at being expected to participate in said organizations.

“They all kept offering free food,” said Mann between bites of a doughnut frosted with greek letters. Mann elaborated that as a member of Earl Warren college, which does not presently have a dining hall, access to food is limited for her. “It was either joining clubs, or starving.” When questioned on how the situation developed, Mann claimed that “it all started on Library Walk,” a popular location on campus for organizations to promote themselves. Mann self-described that felt she could not refuse the flyers these students handed to her, saying, “They were all so friendly, it just felt wrong to say no.” Mann claimed that the vast majority of these flyers advertised free food at the first few meetings, which in her state of “delusional starvation,” is what motivated her to sign up to join the plethora of student organizations.

However, Mann claims that she is not interested in being a participating member of the groups she has joined, stating that she didn’t know the organizations had any other purpose than free food. In fact, now that most student organizations have gradually started focusing on their work and stopped offering food, Mann is looking for a way out. “They keep emailing me about their meetings,” said Mann, “I don’t know who half of these people are, and without the food I’m just not interested in intramural underwater basket-weaving or whatever the hell they do together.”

Brenda Jacobs, a third year who is an active member of the UCSD chapter of Engineering Honors Society Mann joined, commented on how Mann’s situation is not an uncommon occurrence. “This happens every year. All these freshmen show up to the bonfires, socials, and the first meetings when there’s pizza. The moment you try to get some actual work done though, they all disappear. They’re all ungrateful moochers, I’ll tell you that. All of them!”

With student organizations no longer serving as a consistent source of food, Mann and her other Warren classmates’ remaining choices reportedly include “undertaking a hike across campus to the distant dining halls of the other colleges, foraging in the canyon, and fighting with the local racoons for leftover scraps.” Nevertheless, Mann assured interviewers that she could survive these odds, commenting, “I can totally take those racoons in a fight. Besides, I may be starving, but at least I don’t have to worry about the freshman fifteen. I think that makes me the real winner here.”

Staff Writer at TheMQ

At any given moment, Ayushi Banerjee can be found in a vine-covered back alley cafe, drinking hot chocolate and passionately dismantling the stigma around talking about issues of inequality and discrimination. Just like the word "moist," this dog lover is "valid" and "funny." And yes, Ayushi likes sushi.

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