Volume 32
Birds To Go On Strike
“Birds of a feather strike together!” said Big Bird.Photo by Dylan Schmidt Yesterday, the American Bird Union (ABU) announced that all members will go on strike …
HHS Announces Return to Humorism
“Bloodletting?” read one Xeet. “More like blood mandatory.”Photo by Amit Roth Last Monday, Secretary of Health and Human Services (HHS) Robert F. Kennedy Jr. announced in …
Billboards in Silicon Valley ‘Go Rogue’
“Is this like a weird porn thing?” asked one concerned driver.Photo by Amit Roth The high-tech industry, quartered in California’s Silicon Valley, continues to apply AI …
Philadelphia Mothers Find Out California Pretty Big, Actually
“I heard California’s sinking into the ocean. That’s not good,” said one concerned mother. Photo by Dylan Schmidt According to a recent press release, the newly …
UCSD Introduces New Remote College
“How do I apply to be an RA for Ninth College?” asked one freak.Photo by Amit Roth and Cole Johnson Chancellor Pradeep Khosla unveiled plans for …
San Diego Police Department Unveils New Crime Stopping Technology
“Scan it! Ssshhhh. Zap it! Zzzz. Detain it! Clank,” said one BOP IT. Photo by Amit Roth In a press conference this past Friday, SDPD Chief …
Susan Bagel: Fruit Pizza
At the back of the recipe box in my kitchen lays a frayed recipe card for fruit pizza. The number of hands that have exchanged this …
