Volume 30 Issue 3


Khosla Declares UCSD Tuition ‘Too Low’

Written by: Justin Xu

“I’m proud to announce that we no longer have students living under the poverty line,” said Chancellor Khosla.Photo by Justin Xu At a recent press conference, …


Iowa Becomes First Woman-Free State

Written by: Dylan Towner

“How can I be a misogynist when I don’t even miss the women?” asked Governor Mannington.Photo by Amit Roth In the six months following the enactment …

ArticlesOpinionPoint - Counter Point

Disney Is a Striking Example of the Proliferation of Capitalism vs Fuck You, I’m Mickey Mouse

Written by: Cole Johnson

POINT: Disney Is a Striking Example of the Proliferation of Capitalism Back in my day, characters could only be owned by a company for about 14 …

Top Ten

Top Ten Gifts We Returned

Written by: The MQ

FeaturesOther Features

Dear Emily Queue: Leap Day Edition

Written by: Sylvia Terry, Katie Campbell, Kaz Nuckowski, Annelise Mccullough and Amit Roth

Dear Emily Queue, if I see my shadow on Leap Day, will there be 28 more days of February?Of course not! Who do you think you …


New Car Headlights to Be Replaced with Floodlights

Written by: Madeline Mozafari

“Do you guys smell something burning?” asked Sneeth Broth.Photo by Amit Roth Following a study on the light intensity of new car headlights, several car companies, …


ChatGPT Caught Cheating on Student

Written by: Janice Kim

“I thought we were in an open source relationship!” said ChatGPT.Photo by Julia Wong Navigating multiple deferrals and the students sleeping in their hallways, the Academic …

ArticlesOpinionPoint - Counter Point

UCSD Needs to Increase Awareness of Mental Illness vs UCSD Makes Me Very Aware of My Mental Illness

Written by: Mac Carroll

POINT: UCSD Needs to Increase Awareness of Mental Illness The University of California, San Diego is ranked #21 nationally for colleges with the most depressed student …

Sunday Comics


Written by: Kai Nguyen


Local Gamer Embarks on ‘Relationship Nuzlocke’ to Legalize Polyamory

Written by: Kaz Nuckowski

“I’ve always been weak to normal types,” said Nico Franc.Photo by Connor Betterly Polyamory is rising in recognition and favorability among young people, but legal protections …