Written by: The MQ

  1. Penis envy
  2. White-collar crime
  3. Not paying for indulgences
  4. Killing your son on a big mountain
  5. Opposite over hypotenuse of a right triangle
  6. Making your students pay for the textbooks you wrote
  7. Forgetting the Alamo
  8. Wasting our time
  9. Masturbating without saying grace
  10. Being left-handed

The MQ is the premier satire magazine at UC San Diego

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