Biden Delivers Unique State of the Union

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

In order to draw viewers into watching his State of the Union Address, President Biden introduced several changes to the way he delivered the speech. To …


IRS Debuts ‘Ultimate’ Form

Written by: Liv Gilbert

Responding to mounting criticisms of the American tax system, the Internal Revenue Service announced the release of Form One: a single unified form that will be …


Clocks Fail to Change for Daylight Saving Time, No One Notices

Written by: Madeline Mozafari

This past weekend, Daylight Saving Time was scheduled to begin, with all clocks to “spring forward” an hour. However, Americans across the country woke up this …


Alabama Embryologists Adopt 873 Children

Written by: Katie Campbell

“Embryo #405 has great aspirations to become a teacher,” said Abbie Maker.Photo by Amit Roth Following the recent controversial ruling by Alabama’s Supreme Court, all frozen …


UCSD’s New Mental Health Initiative Is ‘Queering the Male Loneliness Binary’

Written by: Sylvia Terry

“I don’t even need to take this class,” said one workshop attendee. “I just treat every woman like my mother.”Photo by Madeline Mozafari Amid the recent …


Chancellor Khosla Announces New Evil Department

Written by: Cole Johnson

“Finally, I can pick the greater of two evils,” said one student.Photo by Dylan Schmidt An email sent by Chancellor Pradeep Khosla last Thursday announced that …


Las Vegas Consumed by Plague of Moths

Written by: Dylan Schmidt

“I was drawn to it like a moth to a… like a… like… um…” said one moth.Photo by Dylan Schmidt Only a few months after the …

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I Need Coding Help vs What, Like It’s Hard?

Written by: Annelise Mccullough

A person’s ability to learn a new language declines after age 12, so why am I, in my early 20s, expected to learn and become fluent …

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Top Ten Ways to Get Out of Jury Duty

Written by: The MQ


Biblical Scholar Bakes Angel Food Cake

Written by: The MQ

Ruins birthday party