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Biden Delivers Unique State of the Union
In order to draw viewers into watching his State of the Union Address, President Biden introduced several changes to the way he delivered the speech. To …
IRS Debuts ‘Ultimate’ Form
Responding to mounting criticisms of the American tax system, the Internal Revenue Service announced the release of Form One: a single unified form that will be …
Clocks Fail to Change for Daylight Saving Time, No One Notices
This past weekend, Daylight Saving Time was scheduled to begin, with all clocks to “spring forward” an hour. However, Americans across the country woke up this …
Alabama Embryologists Adopt 873 Children
“Embryo #405 has great aspirations to become a teacher,” said Abbie Maker.Photo by Amit Roth Following the recent controversial ruling by Alabama’s Supreme Court, all frozen …
UCSD’s New Mental Health Initiative Is ‘Queering the Male Loneliness Binary’
“I don’t even need to take this class,” said one workshop attendee. “I just treat every woman like my mother.”Photo by Madeline Mozafari Amid the recent …
Chancellor Khosla Announces New Evil Department
“Finally, I can pick the greater of two evils,” said one student.Photo by Dylan Schmidt An email sent by Chancellor Pradeep Khosla last Thursday announced that …
Las Vegas Consumed by Plague of Moths
“I was drawn to it like a moth to a… like a… like… um…” said one moth.Photo by Dylan Schmidt Only a few months after the …
I Need Coding Help vs What, Like It’s Hard?
A person’s ability to learn a new language declines after age 12, so why am I, in my early 20s, expected to learn and become fluent …
Biblical Scholar Bakes Angel Food Cake
Ruins birthday party
Teamwork
Makes the cream work
