Volume 28
Aides Refuse to Reveal Secret to Queen’s Long Life as 70th Year of Rule Approaches
The Church of England will now accept small children as tithe.Photo by Maria Dhilla As Queen Elizabeth II approaches her 70th year of rule, the Commonwealth …
Psych Student Develops Cure for Déjà Vu
Rats treated with Don’tjà Vu were eight times more likely to double-check that the stove was off before leaving the cage.Photo by Robin Brewin Last month, Don’tjà …
Some Rocks Don’t Brush Their Teeth
They take their dental health for granite
I Got You This Heart-Shaped Box for Valentine’s Day Vs. You Fool! I Need a Real Human Heart!
Point: I Got You This Heart-Shaped Box for Valentine’s Day Hey Annie. Happy Valentine’s Day. I’m not great at the whole romance thing, but I wanted …
Tennis Novice Wins First Game
Is thrust into the limelight
Top Ten Songs from Musk the Musical
Top Ten Songs from Musk the Musical It’s A-Me! Wario! Hyperloop to Hell SpaceX Oddity Do You Wanna Build A Tesla? Careful Whisper (I’m Trying to …
Top Ten Reasons Why Clifford Got So Big
10. Insane selective breeding9. Vitamin overdose8. He was bitten by a radioactive Great Dane7. Inflation in the US over the last decade6. Pushing all the sliders …
Frat Houses Campaign to Have New COVID-19 Strains Named After Them
“We’re still getting noise complaints, but now it’s only because of all the coughing,” bragged Jason.Image by Sharon Roth As the nation sees more and more …
State of California Abolishes Legal Gender, Strictly Enforces Favorite Color Instead
“I just got my government-assigned color,” said Moore-Sherwin. “They said it’s green, but I’m feeling blue.”Photo by Robin Brewin The state of California has made strides …
Groundbreaking Study Finds Average New Year’s Resolution Is Only Kept for 25 Minutes
“New hour, new me,” said Debilis.Photo by Jack Yang The National Academy of Sciences recently published a study showing that the average New Year’s resolution is …
