Written by: The MQ

10. Insane selective breeding
9. Vitamin overdose
8. He was bitten by a radioactive Great Dane
7. Inflation in the US over the last decade
6. Pushing all the sliders to the right in character creation
5. Eating the souls of various dogs he has beaten in combat
4. What if he’s not big, and we’re all just really tiny?
3. Someone told him to be the bigger person
2. Invasive bone surgery
1. Forced perspective

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