Volume 27 Issue 7
“Pomp and Circumcision” To Be Played at UCSD Graduation Following Chancellor’s “Head Tax” Announcement
“What happens if you’re double majoring?” asked a concerned student.Photo by Jack Yang Faced with the mounting pushback against raising tuition, Chancellor Khosla has decided to temporarily …
I Got the COVID-19 Vaccine and It Destroyed My Work- Out Drive
By H. I. Tee Local Workout “Enthusiast” The COVID-19 pandemic is a real event, and it has affected many people in my community. I do not …
Local Scrabble Champion Outraged: “If Marijuana is Legal, Proper Nouns Should Be Too”
Moms have been concerned that this scrabble will lead kids to dabble in more complex word games.Photo by Maria Dhilla The legalization of marijuana has been making …
Susan’s Foolproof Bagels
Gluten Tag! Welcome to the latest edition of Susan’s mostly-baking-but-really-just-a-venting-session Baking Blog where she tackles Bagels (and the encroachment of loneliness into her life)
Video Game Journalist Learns to Jump During Final Boss Battle
Lee stated, “This game’s characters are so hard to follow. I don’t know who to pick — Singleplayer or Co-op?”Photo by Jack Yang While working on a …
Oh the Places You’ll Go! (After You Move Back In with Your Parents)
As I look out upon my novelty calendar featuring inspirational cat photos, I am reminded that I have not a fortnight before I don my gown …
Italian Populace Celebrates 25 Years Since the Eruption of Pompeii
“Magma mia, that’s a spicy volcano!” said Giuseppe.Photo by Sharon Roth Historical anniversaries are often met with mixed emotions, but the tragic eruption that occurred in Pompeii, …
Violent Clashes Occur as UCPD Shuts Down Unsanctioned Open Mic
“Man, I hate having to get bailed out by my parents. So embarrassing,” said Leigh.Photo by Maria Dhilla At 5:00 p.m. on Friday, May 14, a crowd …
Snickering Researchers Warn of New Threat Posed by Updog
Scientists have looked up high and down low, but unfortunately they have been too slow to catch the mysterious Updog.Photo by Maria Dhilla According to several extensive …
New Dystopian Factions Emerge From Fanatical Vaccine Recipients
When asked about anti-vaxxers, both sides stated, “Do not speak to us of the heretics — the non-believers. Even a false god is better than none.”Photo …
