Volume 27 Issue 4
Discord Mods Confused About New Kitten Adoption Agency
“I hate that I actually know what a catgirl is now,” remarked Ahmed.Photo by Sharon Roth The local humane society has just opened up a newly added …
Local Dog Votes
Has bone to pick with incumbent
“Dead Man’s Party” Re-Enters US Billboard’s Hot 100s as Biden Presidency Begins
Who could ask for more? Many people did, but this is what we got.Photo by Jack Yang As President Joe Biden, noted as “still alive” by many …
Gamestop Offers $5 Trade-in Deal for GME Shares
Gamestop Offers $5 Trade-in Deal for GME Shares Video game retailer GameStop has unveiled a new trade-in service in response to the attention they’ve received from …
Popular Magician Questioned in Wife’s Disappearance
“They’ll find the body before that two-bit magician can say, ‘Abra cadaver!’” claimed Tellor.Photo by Maria Dhilla Daniel Siegfried, more commonly known by his stage name, Dynamic …
Student Comes Out as Non-binary, Assaulted with Kindness
Student Comes Out as Non-binary, Assaulted with Kindness Local student, Bandrew Bitko, has recently reported an “assault of kindness” after they came out as non-binary. Bitko …
Clam Unhappy, Despite Common Saying
“It’s really hard to stay positive these days, as a clam,” said one local clam. “I mean, we barely have a foot to stand on!”Photo by Sharon …
Warner Brothers Announces Barney the Dinosaur Kaiju Film
Warner Brothers Announces Barney the Dinosaur Kaiju Film Ahead of the release of “Godzilla vs. Kong,” Warner Brothers announced that beloved character Barney the Dinosaur would …
Local Women Gets New World Record on New Year’s Resolution “Any%” Speedrun
Goodman said that she found a way to “clip into the kitchen” after demolishing the wall between it and the adjacent room.Photo by Sharon Roth When a …
