Volume 27 Issue 4
Top Ten Ways to Seem More Mature
Top Ten Ways to Seem More Mature Tell your friends, “Wow, you’ve grown so much,” everytime you see them Order a black coffee and pretend to …
Top Ten Similarities Between the Senate Floor and the Dance Floor
Top Ten Similarities Between the Senate Floor and the Dance Floor There’s a house whip 😉 Sometimes there are bills on the floor You wish Mitch …
New Plane Has a Corkscrew-shaped Cockpit
Resulting price hike fucks you over
Discord Mods Confused About New Kitten Adoption Agency
“I hate that I actually know what a catgirl is now,” remarked Ahmed.Photo by Sharon Roth The local humane society has just opened up a newly added …
Local Dog Votes
Has bone to pick with incumbent
“Dead Man’s Party” Re-Enters US Billboard’s Hot 100s as Biden Presidency Begins
Who could ask for more? Many people did, but this is what we got.Photo by Jack Yang As President Joe Biden, noted as “still alive” by many …
Gamestop Offers $5 Trade-in Deal for GME Shares
Gamestop Offers $5 Trade-in Deal for GME Shares Video game retailer GameStop has unveiled a new trade-in service in response to the attention they’ve received from …
Popular Magician Questioned in Wife’s Disappearance
“They’ll find the body before that two-bit magician can say, ‘Abra cadaver!’” claimed Tellor.Photo by Maria Dhilla Daniel Siegfried, more commonly known by his stage name, Dynamic …
Student Comes Out as Non-binary, Assaulted with Kindness
Student Comes Out as Non-binary, Assaulted with Kindness Local student, Bandrew Bitko, has recently reported an “assault of kindness” after they came out as non-binary. Bitko …
Clam Unhappy, Despite Common Saying
“It’s really hard to stay positive these days, as a clam,” said one local clam. “I mean, we barely have a foot to stand on!”Photo by Sharon …