Warner Brothers Announces Barney the Dinosaur Kaiju Film

Ahead of the release of “Godzilla vs. Kong,” Warner Brothers announced that beloved character Barney the Dinosaur would star in Legendary’s newest MonsterVerse film. The announcement shocked many due to Barney’s small stature, kid-friendly demeanor, and lack of natural immunity to nuclear weapons. Many Twitter users expressed outrage at being forced to reexamine their opinions on a semi-liked character from their youth.

When asked about why they would choose a purple dinosaur that sings about friendship to star in their destructive movie franchise, one Warner Brothers executive said, “We really think that putting Barney in a Kaiju movie is a natural combination.” The executive continued, “Barney is a beloved childhood character which means people are already invested in him. We don’t need to do any of the heavy-lifting like making a movie with an interesting premise to get people to care. Just the name of that purple scaly bastard will do all the work for us.” After images of the film leaked online, people were surprised to find that, despite the film’s $150 million budget, Barney was not a CGI monster but, in fact, still a man inside of a dinosaur costume.