Top Ten Ways to Seem More Mature
- Tell your friends, “Wow, you’ve grown so much,” everytime you see them
- Order a black coffee and pretend to drink it
- Learn how to spell neccesessecarily
- Say, “Roth IRA,” every once in a while to throw people off
- Only type on your phone with your index finger
- Every time you see the American flag, say, “I’m not used to seeing so many stars!”
- Write satire
- Stop saying, “Nice,” every time you see the number 69
- Carry around pictures of young people in your wallet
- Call your boyfriend “son” instead of “daddy”
The premier satire magazine at UC San Diego.
