Top Ten Ways to Seem More Mature

10. Tell your friends, “Wow, you’ve grown so much,” everytime you see them
11. Order a black coffee and pretend to drink it
12. Learn how to spell neccesessecarily
13. Say, “Roth IRA,” every once in a while to throw people off
14. Only type on your phone with your index finger
15. Every time you see the American flag, say, “I’m not used to seeing so many stars!”
16. Write satire
17. Stop saying, “Nice,” every time you see the number 69
18. Carry around pictures of young people in your wallet
19. Call your boyfriend “son” instead of “daddy”