Volume 26
Move-In Day Fiasco Leaves Student Swearing Off On-Campus Housing
“Guys, we should make shirts,” Rivers said, as his roommates avoided eye contact.Photo by Jack Yang After another year of working to find the perfect Move-In …
Freshman Shocked to Discover Nobody Cares About His AP Scores
“You think I can use my five on the AP Stats test for anything other than bragging rights?” asked Shultz. “I paid too much for it …
VMAs Announce New “Urban Music” Category to “Celebrate Diversity”
The committee ultimately decided that Eminem wouldn’t be a part of the section due to his “clearly suburban haircut.”Photo by Jack Yang After their controversial decision …
This Little Piggy Went to a Frat Party, This Little Piggy Has a Bloody Nose Because Becky Offered Her Cocaine…
By Martha ChristiansonFailed Parent Hello! Yeah, hello, Susie! You’re just the cutest baby, huh? Do you want to hear what your siblings were up to last …
Foot Fetishist Reviews Quentin Tarantino’s “Once Upon A Time In Hollywood”
By Westin ToetinoNew Movie Critic Tarantino’s ninth film, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is a love letter to the glory days of the movie industry, …
Stuart Art Collection Unveils Newest Piece to Upset Students
Augin and Carry commented that it was meant as a reminder that “there’s always time to be an inconvenience.”Photo by Jack Yang Last Tuesday morning, university …
Local Man Studies Abroad, Experiences No Jet Lag Due to God-Awful Sleep Schedule
Maples gets up each morning for a “light jog” around the neighborhood to see the sights, “just like anyone else would.”Photo by Jessica Ma After paying …
Freshman Convinced They Found Soulmate During Welcome Week
“There’s just something so amazing about an 18-year-old who knows how to use chopsticks,” said Chessit.Photo by Jack Yang First-year Brittany Chessit recently got into a …
UCSD Student’s Bedroom Confused for Glassware Antique Show
One of the plates pictured was taken for further inspection after scientists found a culture on it dating back to 2013.Photo by Jay Noonan Taylor Fetner, …
Democratic Candidates Prepare For 2020 Election by “Practicing Civility and Respect”
Glitter from the valentine is projected to last in the Oval Office for three more terms.Photo by Jack Yang Some candidates in the 2020 Democratic primary …
