Articles
Local Teen Girl Justifies New Years Party
In response to one party-goer claiming that their cocaine was “95 percent pure,” another partygoer held up hand sanitizer, saying, “This is 99.9 percent pure.”Photo by Maria …
I Was the Lone AXE Body Spray Left Behind: This is My Story
After the aftermath of the insurrection on Capitol Hill, reporters searched furiously for the best photograph to encapsulate the experience of what many are calling “the …
I’m Haunted by Successful People Sharing My Name
My name is Mary Smith. Yes, that Mary Smith. I come from a long line of Mary Smiths, as I was named after my grandma, great-grandma, …
I’m Batman
We live in unprecedented times where world-altering challenges such as climate change, racial injustice, and, of course, the pandemic face us at every corner. For the …
Reagan can Trickle Down on MY Economy
By By Richard Montegomery III Future Millionaire Sometimes it’s hard to be living in America, especially right now because of the whole pandemic thing going on, …
Alexa? Teach me how to capture a woman’s heart. vs. Okay, here’s an article I found on “How to Capture a Woman, Murder her, and Sell Her Organs on the Black Market.”
Point: Alexa? Teach me how to capture a woman’s heart. Alexa? Teach me how to capture a woman’s heart. I mean really steal her heart in …
Discord Mods Confused About New Kitten Adoption Agency
“I hate that I actually know what a catgirl is now,” remarked Ahmed.Photo by Sharon Roth The local humane society has just opened up a newly added …
“Dead Man’s Party” Re-Enters US Billboard’s Hot 100s as Biden Presidency Begins
Who could ask for more? Many people did, but this is what we got.Photo by Jack Yang As President Joe Biden, noted as “still alive” by many …
Popular Magician Questioned in Wife’s Disappearance
“They’ll find the body before that two-bit magician can say, ‘Abra cadaver!’” claimed Tellor.Photo by Maria Dhilla Daniel Siegfried, more commonly known by his stage name, Dynamic …
Clam Unhappy, Despite Common Saying
“It’s really hard to stay positive these days, as a clam,” said one local clam. “I mean, we barely have a foot to stand on!”Photo by Sharon …
