Alexa? Teach me how to capture a woman’s heart. vs. Okay, here’s an article I found on “How to Capture a Woman, Murder her, and Sell Her Organs on the Black Market.”

Point:

Alexa? Teach me how to capture a woman’s heart.

Alexa? Teach me how to capture a woman’s heart. I mean really steal her heart in a breathtaking and romantic sort of way. I want to sweep her off her feet in one fell swoop and take her away, riding off into the sunset never to be seen again. As soon as her eyes meet mine, she will be paralyzed with fear in knowing that she’d spent so long without feeling my embrace, the sort of embrace that I’d be unwilling to relinquish, regardless of her protests, because our love will last through any hardship. I’d like to whisper sweet nothings in her ear, leaving her in complete and utter shock due to my masculine charm and seductive skills, practically forcing her to go home with me without a second thought. Once we’re in our secluded den of passion, I imagine her begging on her knees to be released because my raw energy and magnetism are far more enticing than she’d anticipated, and she wasn’t prepared to give herself to someone ‘till death do us part’ just yet. I want to ruin other men for her by placing myself at the forefront of her mind, leaving her in a dazed state of confusion as thoughts of me incessantly encroach her every waking being. I know my means sound pretty harsh, and I probably seem like a total sap right now, but I promise I only have the best of intentions in mind. So, Alexa, can you send me some tips and tricks or something?

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Counterpoint:

Okay, here’s an article I found on “How to Capture a Woman, Murder her, and Sell Her Organs on the Black Market.”

Okay Gerald, here’s an article I found on “How to Capture a Woman, Murder Her, and Steal Her Organs to Sell on the Black Market.” The first part of the article details how to set up a date with your desired partner. Finding a partner is now easier than ever using Amazon’s new dating app, ‘AmaZone In On Love,’ which matches people based on their Amazon orders and locates them based on their most frequently used shipping location. It is recommended to set up your date in a noncrowded area so as to avoid the leering eyes of other men, also described as “witnesses.” Bars and coffee shops are some examples of the worst places for this kind of interaction. Another tip mentioned in the article is that you should pick up your date at their place of residence. This both gives you their address for future reference and prevents your date from having the necessary means to preemptively leave the date had they felt uncomfortable in any way. Throughout the date, make sure to maintain a calm and sensible demeanor so as to not alert them of your ulterior motives. Charm is an essential tool for the predator who wants to easily lure his prey. Also, make sure that your date spends as little time on their phone as possible in order to avoid their contact with others. Suggest that their actions are rude when, in reality, you want to cut your date off from potentially communicating with others and informing them that you are in their company, so as not to put suspicion on yourself in the future. For more information on the murdering and harvesting organs portion of the article, you can find the rest of the article at [REDACTED].