Articles
This Year’s Super Bowl Ads Were the Worst Yet vs. Try the All-New Flavor Bomb in Your Ford F950!
Point: This Year’s Super Bowl Ads Were the Worst Yet Every year, on a beautiful winter day, my family gathers for a day of festivities. A …
Avatar: The Way of Water to Be Re-Released in 192 One-Minute Segments on YouTube Shorts
“I can’t understand the plot because part 36 was removed for copyright,” lamented one viewer.Photo by Connor Betterly James Cameron announced plans to re-release his latest …
Student Debt Relief to Be Distributed via Ticketmaster Verified Fan Presale
“2,000th in line? I know this pain all too well!” stated one fan.Photo by Amit Roth Last week, the U.S. Department of Education revealed that student …
Physicists Run Out of Greek Letters
“I don’t get all this fuss. I thought one of the Greek letters was already nu,” said one physics student.Photo by Julia Wong A recent announcement …
If You Really Think About It, Life Is Just a Game as a Service
I remember when the first arcades opened. My brother would spend hours in them, coming home late at night on an empty stomach after turning his …
Members of Pink Floyd Lose Almost Every Brick in the Wall Following FTX Collapse
“Hey Bankman-Fried, leave those kids alone,” said Money.Photo by Amit Roth The list of celebrities that have made public statements about losing significant amounts of wealth …
Local Man Makes New Year’s Resolution to Become Worse in Every Way Possible
“I won’t stop until I’ve kicked 101 dalmatians,” vowed Fleming.Photo by Sophie Pubb At the start of every year, many Americans resolve to improve themselves in …
You Missed Out on Something Really Cool Last Night vs. You Are a Failure
Point: You Missed Out on Something Really Cool Last Night Last night was truly a sight to behold! As the sun began its fiery descent into …
Chancellor Khosla “Surprised” to Find Classified Documents in Office
“Classified? No, these are just top secret,” said Khosla.Photo by Julia Wong Following an anonymous tip, campus police and the Office of Internal Affairs conducted a …
California Storm Drain Systems Augmented with Parched Clowns
“I’m really glad the government started taking the flooding seriously and stopped clowning around,” said Quin.Photo by Amit Roth As California braced itself for a torrent …
