Alex Riensch-Goldstein

ArticlesOpinionPoint - Counter Point

I Think I’ll Be a Witch for Halloween This Year vs. Thou Art a Wretched Sinner, Utterly Unworthy of God’s Love

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Point: I Think I’ll Be a Witch for Halloween This Year I’m not sure. I think it could be fun. I have a lot of ideas. …

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Title of Khosla’s Leaked 2022 Commencement Address: “Good Luck LMAO”

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“I was really worried and uncertain for my future,” began one student. “But after reading this speech, I’m reassured that I’m definitely screwed.”Photo by Maria Dhilla …

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Is it Ever Okay – Beach

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Is it wrong to shoot a man on the beach because the sun was in your eyes and your mother is dead?— MALIBU MERSAULT In cooking, …

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Man Claims Covid-19 Created to Annoy Him Personally

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“I didn’t think the deep state or my grades could sink so low,” said Klein.Photo by Maria Dhilla Jake Klein, a sophomore in Seventh College, spends most …

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Hark! Welcometh Back to Mine ThouTube Channel

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Hark! Welcometh back to mine ThouTube channel. Maketh sure to like, comment, and tell thy bellkeep to ring the bell in the towne square so thou …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

1,000 Dead in the War on Christmas

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By Xander Goldman Proud American It’s no secret that life is getting tougher for conservative, Christian, patriotic Americans like me. Still, it’s a tough pill to …

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UCSD Announces “Bold, Firm” Plan to Decarbonize “by the Time the Earth is Swallowed by the Sun”

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“Green energy? Sorry, I don’t see color,” claimed Khosla.Photo by Sharon Roth Following years of pressure by campus climate activists, UCSD admin declared their intention to “fully …