Politics
Sean Spicer Disappears, Found Digging Under White House
Panic struck the White House last week when it was discovered that Sean Spicer, the newly appointed Press Secretary of the Trump Administration, had gone missing. …
Iranians Trapped by Travel Ban Plan to “‘Argo’ This Shit”
President Trump’s January 27 executive order, which barred entry into the US for citizens of seven predominantly Muslim nations, including Iran, has already caused a wide …
Filipino Senate Calls for Peaceful Removal of President Duterte’s Head
The Filipino Senate passed a joint resolution last Friday calling for the peaceful removal of the President Duterte’s head from office and corpus. The unilateral decision …
Indian Children’s Playground Latest Battleground as Kashmiri Forces Attempt to Draw Line In The Sand
Indian Security forces were caught off guard last week when rebels from Kashmir attacked them on a playground in the town of Kathua. The rebels were …
Children’s Book About Mean Frog “Not a Sociopolitical Metaphor,” Author Insists
The new children’s book by author Rachel Bradberry has been lauded recently for its “careful, subtle rhetoric about today’s society” despite the author’s claims that “it’s …
Trump Places Gag Order on the Newly-Hired Alternative Fact Finder
President Trump has enacted another gag order, this time on official D.C. Fact Finder Jerry Verum early Tuesday morning, silencing Verum from communicating with the public …
400 Million Dollars Sent to Haiti to Aid Cholera Outbreak; Fiji Water Plant Built
In an act of incredible generosity, the United Nations (U.N.) has sent 400 million dollars to aid in the cholera outbreak in Haiti, which coincidentally began …
Man Wakes from Worst Nightmare into Second Worst
Area man Zachary Zhou found himself in a cold sweat late Saturday night as he suddenly awakened from what he described as his “absolute worst nightmare.” …
Polls Show 0.7 Percent Increase in Clinton Support 70 Percent Decrease in Complete Sentences Used
Recent polls report Clinton gained a slight increase in support since the last presidential debate against GOP candidate Donald Trump; however, she is still being beaten …
History Wishes Humanity Would Listen More Carefully, Is Tired of Repeating Itself
A recent study conducted by historians yielded the unprecedented revelation that History would actually rather not keep repeating itself and really wishes humanity would take the …
