News
Move-In Day Fiasco Leaves Student Swearing Off On-Campus Housing
“Guys, we should make shirts,” Rivers said, as his roommates avoided eye contact.Photo by Jack Yang After another year of working to find the perfect Move-In …
Freshman Shocked to Discover Nobody Cares About His AP Scores
“You think I can use my five on the AP Stats test for anything other than bragging rights?” asked Shultz. “I paid too much for it …
VMAs Announce New “Urban Music” Category to “Celebrate Diversity”
The committee ultimately decided that Eminem wouldn’t be a part of the section due to his “clearly suburban haircut.”Photo by Jack Yang After their controversial decision …
Stuart Art Collection Unveils Newest Piece to Upset Students
Augin and Carry commented that it was meant as a reminder that “there’s always time to be an inconvenience.”Photo by Jack Yang Last Tuesday morning, university …
Local Man Studies Abroad, Experiences No Jet Lag Due to God-Awful Sleep Schedule
Maples gets up each morning for a “light jog” around the neighborhood to see the sights, “just like anyone else would.”Photo by Jessica Ma After paying …
Freshman Convinced They Found Soulmate During Welcome Week
“There’s just something so amazing about an 18-year-old who knows how to use chopsticks,” said Chessit.Photo by Jack Yang First-year Brittany Chessit recently got into a …
UCSD Student’s Bedroom Confused for Glassware Antique Show
One of the plates pictured was taken for further inspection after scientists found a culture on it dating back to 2013.Photo by Jay Noonan Taylor Fetner, …
Local Student Plans to Hit the Gym Over Summer, Resolution Lasts a Week
“It took me like 10 situps to reach the remote, so I think I’m good for the day,” said Wyland.Photo by Jack Yang Second year Sid …
Local Gamer Returns to Neglected Minecraft Server to Find Ongoing Race War
“It’s all about the framing,” said one pillager analyst on the above image. “What you don’t see here is the years and years of marginalization.”Photo by …
Democratic Candidates Prepare For 2020 Election by “Practicing Civility and Respect”
Glitter from the valentine is projected to last in the Oval Office for three more terms.Photo by Jack Yang Some candidates in the 2020 Democratic primary …
