Campus
Local Student Seeks to Learn Who Gerry Mandering Is
Quill later wanted to find out who “All” was and why they should get Medicare.Photo by Jack Yang First-year ERC student Tara Quill, after just now realizing …
Campus Squirrels Outraged After Hearing About No Nut November
Nibbles was reportedly distraught at how nuts the situation was.Photo by Jack Yang Area squirrels Nibbles and Chipper are furious after being told about the phenomenon known …
Area Mom Challenges Eminem to Wrap Battle
While Morales could wrap a gift with perfectly flush edges and a seamless tape job, she was no match for Eminem’s scathing hot rhymes.Photo by Jack Yang …
Warren Dining Hall Reopening Delayed by Raccoon Takeover
Despite concerns that the new food being served would be contaminated by rabies, various Warren students said that had always been a concern.Photo by Jack Yang The …
UCSD Announces New Solution to Student Housing Shortage: Plague
Sources report a stressed out student was heard saying, “I have a midterm tomorrow. If I get the plague, then I get the plague.”Photo by Jack Yang …
UCSD Professor Assigns Controversial Vibe Check Instead of Midterm
Sources later confirmed that none of the answers were correct. Photo by Jack Yang Dr. Frank N. Stein of UC San Diego made waves in the …
Promiscuous Frat Boy Misinterprets Title of “Halloweenie” Cookout
The fraternity reportedly had to cancel their upcoming hot dog fest due to this incident.Photo by Jack Yang First-year Austin Smang was arrested at the University …
Headless Horseman Accepted into UCSD, Considered “Perfect Fit” for Campus
The Headless Horseman reportedly felt stress at one point in his life, but “just got over it.”Photo by Jack Yang In a move one anonymous source …
College Student Joins 57 Student Organizations for Free Food, Shocked to Discover They Have Commitments
Mann was reportedly confused when the Prelaw Society asked her when she was coming for mock debates.Photo by Jack Yang Incoming first year at UC San Diego, …
UCSD Wi-Fi Found To Be Powered by a Naked Mole Rat
Upon hearing the news, a faculty member from the biology department said, “Oh, so that’s where they go.”Photo by Jack Yang The cause of recent internet …
