Quill later wanted to find out who “All” was and why they should get Medicare.
Photo by Jack Yang
First-year ERC student Tara Quill, after just now realizing that she will be eligible to vote in the 2020 elections, is trying to become more politically minded. “I figured since, you know, a lot happens in politics, and I’m pretty sure we need a change or some bad shit is going to go down. Or is it that bad shit is going to keep on happening? Maybe both.”
Quill, in her efforts to learn more about America’s governing bodies and the people running them, has started following multiple Facebook meme pages focusing on politics. She swears by the moisturizing routine Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez showed on her Instagram, saying it makes her “feel so empowered.” However, one problem seems to stand in Quill’s way of understanding the American political scene. “There’s this guy who everyone keeps talking about. Who’s Gerry Mandering? What’s he about? Like, I don’t see an official Instagram account or even a verified Twitter profile, but everyone I know who’s talking about politics constantly mentions the guy. Do you think he might be running for President? I don’t know if I can trust a politician who doesn’t even post on social media. Someone told me he walked with Martin Luther King Jr., but I’m pretty sure that was Elizabeth Warren.”
Fellow ERC student Jacob Marsh said, “Honestly, I feel like I should know this guy. Everyone talks about him being connected with the election, but I think he might be an abstract artist or something? People talk about him being really good at drawing wiggly lines. I actually run one of the Facebook meme pages, and I think if I look this guy up, I’ll get more confused. What I do now is just say, ‘What about Gerry Mandering?’ in literally every political conversation I get into, and then I walk away. It works pretty well, but my grades are suffering because I have to leave all of my classes early.”
Quill, after some Google searches, professed herself to be even more confused with Mr. Mandering’s persona. “I don’t know who he is or even what party he represents, which really sucks, because that means I can’t make fun of him or prove that I’m smarter than other people by mentioning him in conversation. I almost made a sign about him when I was about to go to the Women’s March, but in the end I just bought this really cute hat with a pin of Ruth Bader Ginsburg on it, and I was so happy with my purchase that I ended up not even going to the march.”
Former Editor-in-Chief. Like an ouroboros, her jokes consume themselves until no one knows whether they were ever funny. But they are.
