Area Mom Challenges Eminem to Wrap Battle

Written by: Adam Yoshinaga

While Morales could wrap a gift with perfectly flush edges and a seamless tape job, she was no match for Eminem’s scathing hot rhymes.
Photo by Jack Yang

In preparation for the holiday season, 37 year-old mom Karen Morales has reportedly begun practicing her wrapping skills. Starting as soon as Thanksgiving ended, Morales puts in nearly five hours of training a day in order to have the “perfect wrap” for her children’s presents this coming Christmas. “It needs to be perfect, and I think in order to do that I need to go up against the best, and who’s better than Eminem? He’s been doing it for years, or so I’ve heard,” said Morales. “He’s so good at wrapping they even made a movie about him! Apparently he went through eight square miles of wrapping paper in one year!”

Morales reached out to Eminem, whose real name is Marshall Mathers, on Twitter, writing: “Hey @Eminem … Me. You. Friday Night. It’s going down.” Eminem later responded to her Tweet, writing, “One shot. One moment. Bring your spaghetti.” Morales was reportedly confused by the last part of his Tweet, but was aided by fellow mom Ashley Lopez, who explained to Morales, “It’s merely a strategy to get your palms sweaty, or your arms heavy, or your knees weak, or something like that … I think it’s his strategy.” Karen then replied to Eminem, writing, “I might not be as successful as you, but everyone in town calls me the Queen of Wrap. And not just because I make a great turkey and cheese.”

An interview with Eminem later revealed his confusion regarding the situation. “Does she know how to spell? Or does she think I’m gonna wrap some presents with her or something? Either way I was joking. I’m done with rap battles after that last guy literally burst into flames once I was done roasting him.”

After hearing what the rapper had to say in his interview, Morales responded, “I did my research, and yes, I did look like a complete fool challenging you to a ‘wrap battle.’ But now I’m here to challenge you to a real rap battle. You know, the kind with words, the blinded birds, the grind of nerds,” she added, in what Morales claimed was an attempt to impress the rapper.

There was no further communication between the two parties, which raised speculation among some. Kimberly Cunningham reached out to voice his opinion on the exchange between the two, questioning Morales’ lack of knowledge on the rapper. “You’re telling me she’s never heard of ‘Rap God,’ ‘Lose Yourself,’ or ‘Not Afraid’? Well, she should be afraid of losing herself against the almighty Rap God.”

Morales declined to comment on the situation after being publicly ridiculed by other moms in the area, including Lopez. “I’m not saying she looked like a complete idiot, but um … yeah she looked like a complete idiot. She should stick to wrapping presents, but then again, last year her kids complained about being able to see their socks through a hole in the paper, so I don’t know if she should even do that.”

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