Steven Zhou
RNC to Propose Monthly Virginity Tests for Women
McDaniel told reporters, “It takes a village to raise a child, and luckily my uterus is owned by our great village of the US of A!”Photo …
Point/Counterpoint: Going Pre-med is the Hardest Route a College Student Can Take/Objection, Your Honor
Going Pre-med is the Hardest Route a College Student Can Take By Baxter Washington Pre-med Student Out of all potential career paths college students can take, …
My Nonprofit Has Made Significant Measures to Stop Global Warming
I have never been more proud to be a community leader in Hell. After thousands of years of drought, fire, and brimstone, I decided that enough …
Premed Student Downs Four Red Bulls and Adderall Daily, Believes He Will Be a Great Doctor
UCSD premed student Enzo Stephenson recently posted a photo of himself on Instagram posing at his desk with several empty bottles of Red Bull and Adderall. …
Helicopter Mother Leaves 72-Hour Voicemail to Ungrateful Son
Local mother Khadija Abboud reportedly left a 72-hour voicemail to her “darling son, Arman.” The recording starting on Thursday and ending the following Sunday. Khadija Abboud …
Study Shows Most Anti-Vaxxers Are Just Kids Afraid of Needles
A report from the Center for Disease Control has found that 95 percent of the anti-vaccination movement is composed of people with a fear of needles. …
Trump Announces Plans to Run
President Donald Trump recently made an announcement through Twitter: “I am planning to run.” This five-word tweet has caused a commotion in Washington, D.C. as White …
Canadian Woman to Celebrate Boxing Day by “Kicking the Shit Out of Shoppers”
After spending Christmas Eve with her church and spending Christmas Day with her family, Toronto native Tricia Thompson plans to wrap her wrists and get ready …
