Steven Zhou
Re-Gifting PCP
Point: Re-gifting Should Become a More Socially Acceptable Practice Gifting culture needs to change now. I recently went to a Secret Santa party with all my …
Congress Increases Government Transparency, Will Install New Windows
Following accusations of a biased closed confirmation hearing of Brett Kavanaugh, Congress passed a Republican-sponsored bill “increasing congressional transparency” by installing larger glass windows on the …
Sun Given a One-Star Yelp Review by NASA Astronomers
Once thought to be the hottest spot in the Solar System, the Sun recently received a shockingly low one-star Yelp review from NASA astronomers. Their reasoning …
Upcoming 2018 Blue Wave Turns Out to Be a Tsunami
After extensively studying the recent voting trends, political scientists and climate scientists have concluded that the imminent “Blue Wave” in the upcoming elections is in fact …
Local 34-Year-Old Couch Potato Decides To Take Up Snowboarding
Following the 2018 Winter Olympics medal ceremony in which American teenagers Chloe Kim and Red Gerard earned gold medals in snowboarding, average couch potato Eaton McDonald …