Volume 29
Butter Flavored Vape Creates New Disease, Movie Popcorn Lung
“Is it salted or unsalted butter?” asked Monica Clouds. “I’m trying to watch my blood pressure.”Photo by Connor Betterly Last month, the popular e-cigarette and vape …
Leaked Internal Twitter Memo States that Elon Musk “Has No Idea What He’s Doing”
Reports of events at Twitter headquarters were not officially confirmed, but were verified by an anonymous Twitter employee.Photo by Julia Wong Recently, Elon Musk finalized his …
HDH Recruits Gordon Ramsay to Fix Their “Kitchen Nightmares”
“This chicken is so undercooked, it’s still crossing the road!” cried Ramsay.Photo by Julia Wong For years, students have rated their experience at the campus’ dining …
ITS Announces Hiring of Carrier Pigeons to Improve ResNet Speeds
“My carrier pigeon isn’t helping at all. It built a ResNest in my dorm!” exclaimed one student.Photo by James Woolley In response to growing complaints, UCSD’s …
SPIN Scooter Claims First Life at UCSD Campus
“My philosophy professor asked me what I would do when faced with the trolley problem,” said one SPIN user. “Today I found out.”Photo by Julia Wong …
Scientists Discover Long-Lost Thanksgiving Music
“I’m so glad I have something to play loudly during dinner so I don’t have to talk to my family,” said Thanksgiving music enthusiast Davide Strallman.Photo …
Professor Branches Out to Streaming Professionally After Lecture Recordings Succeed
“I got banned from Twitch chat,” alleged one student. “Can I still pass the class?”Photo by Amit Roth The COVID-19 pandemic forced many aspects of modern …
Sleep Tight, Don’t Let the Bed Bugs Bite! vs. All Families Deserve to Be Fed
POINT: Sleep Tight, Don’t Let the Bed Bugs Bite! Within a week of moving into my new home, it was evident to me that I had …
