- Give yourself carbon monoxide poisoning
- Drink a glass of warm juice
- Hang upside down from the ceiling
- Knock on your roommate’s door and politely ask them to tell you a bedtime story
- Take an hour nap before an important event to make sure you get a full eight hours of sleep
- Genetically modify yourself with bear DNA so you can hibernate
- Do a push-up so you’re really tired
- Count backwards from infinity
- Suffer blunt force trauma to the head
- Touch a poison spindle
The premier satire magazine at UC San Diego.
