Volume 29 Issue 3
Professor Shows Subway Surfers Gameplay Videos During Lecture
Professor Ious is now allowing students to use Subway Surfers Coins to buy power-ups on exams.Photo by Julia Wong During this year’s winter class registration, students …
LinkedIn Announces Short-Form Video Service
“It’s so easy to make short-form video content,” said Devontre Prenuer. “Personally, I squeeze it in between my 4:30 a.m. run and my 5 a.m. meditation.”Photo …
Climate Activist Throws Taco Bell Food Items at Sun God, Students Rejoice
“Scientists have said we’ll be on a time Crunchwrap even if we act now,” explained Daniel Gould.Photo by Amit Roth This past Friday at noon, on …
Butter Flavored Vape Creates New Disease, Movie Popcorn Lung
“Is it salted or unsalted butter?” asked Monica Clouds. “I’m trying to watch my blood pressure.”Photo by Connor Betterly Last month, the popular e-cigarette and vape …
Leaked Internal Twitter Memo States that Elon Musk “Has No Idea What He’s Doing”
Reports of events at Twitter headquarters were not officially confirmed, but were verified by an anonymous Twitter employee.Photo by Julia Wong Recently, Elon Musk finalized his …
HDH Recruits Gordon Ramsay to Fix Their “Kitchen Nightmares”
“This chicken is so undercooked, it’s still crossing the road!” cried Ramsay.Photo by Julia Wong For years, students have rated their experience at the campus’ dining …
Scientists Discover Long-Lost Thanksgiving Music
“I’m so glad I have something to play loudly during dinner so I don’t have to talk to my family,” said Thanksgiving music enthusiast Davide Strallman.Photo …
Professor Branches Out to Streaming Professionally After Lecture Recordings Succeed
“I got banned from Twitch chat,” alleged one student. “Can I still pass the class?”Photo by Amit Roth The COVID-19 pandemic forced many aspects of modern …
Sleep Tight, Don’t Let the Bed Bugs Bite! vs. All Families Deserve to Be Fed
POINT: Sleep Tight, Don’t Let the Bed Bugs Bite! Within a week of moving into my new home, it was evident to me that I had …
Throwing Food on Paintings Is an Ineffectual Protest vs. It Makes the Paintings Taste Better
POINT: Throwing Food on Paintings Is an Ineffectual Protest I can’t believe people do this. This publicity stunt does nothing to talk about climate change. You …
