Volume 29 Issue 3
Return Black Friday to Its Roots
If one more person disrespects the internationally-recognized holiday of Black Friday, I am going to lose it. The contempt when you dismiss this patriotic purchasing day …
Study Reveals That It Can’t Get Worse
A research paper published in the Journal of Poor Judgement and Indecision sparked hope in the scientific community after claiming that “it cannot get worse from …
Donald Trump Returns to Twitter, Saves the Platform
Following Elon Musk’s acquisition of Twitter, nearly all users have levied complaints against Musk’s policies. Many have gone so far as to leave the platform altogether, …
“Khosplayers” to Storm Comic-Con
With tickets secured, hundreds of UC San Diego students are frantically preparing for San Diego Comic-Con, one of the largest comic conventions in the United States. …
UCSD Announces New “DILF”-Focused Research Center to Promote Equality
“This project has fathered many other studies,” said Simgod Friend.Photo by James Woolley Following the reveal of the Human Milk Institute, UCSD announced the Human Observation …
UC on Day seven of Not Understanding the Point of a Union
For the past week, a coalition of four unions representing academic workers across the UC system went on strike due to the university’s unlawful bargaining practices. …
Ticketmaster CEO to Open New Company: Masterticket
Last week, millions of Swifties experienced “several bear attacks” as they attempted to buy tickets for Taylor Swift’s upcoming tour, Eras. As a result of the …
