Volume 28
UCSD Announces Virtual Classes To Be Held in the Metaverse
“Many of you have asked about a grading curve,” said one professor. “Well let me introduce you to a product that keeps YOURcurves in top condition.”Photo …
Thespians Claim COVID Immunity As They Are “Really Good At Pretending They Don’t Have It”
“The only jab I’ll get is behind the curtain,” said the actor playing Polonius.Photo by Sharon Roth Last December, the Actors Association of America (AAA) released a …
Okay, Fine, I Still Haven’t Seen Squid Game
Can you keep a secret? Swear it. Swear on your life. I don’t think I can hide it any longer. It’s been trapped inside of me, …
Escaped Lab Mouse Takes up Residence in Seventh College Elevator
Escaped Lab Mouse Takes up Residence in Seventh College Elevator Last Friday, first-year Seventh College student Christopher Crumbs reported seeing a mouse on one of the …
Top Ten Activities to Do at 3:12 a.m.
10. Throat shredded cheese9. Queerbait8. Wake up from your 15-hour nap7. Imagine yourself winning an argument6. Learn how to play drums5. Ponder the holes in Lewis’s …
Literature Major Unable to Let Go of the Myth of Sisyphus
“Maybe I need to be bolder,” said Mu. “I’m really trying to push this idea forward.”Photo by Sharon Roth Fourth-year Literature major Cameron Mu has, in her …
The War on Lawn Decor Intensifies, Tragedies in Gnome Man’s Land
Mr. and Mrs. Jennings’ front yard is a scene of devastation after the most recent battle in the war on lawn decor. The ensuing skirmish resulted …
Wolftown Debuts New Locally Sourced Raccoon Bowl
“After eating this, the trash doesn’t look so bad,” claimed Nomick.Photo by Maria Dhilla Throngs of hungry undergraduates were greeted by a new sight on Wednesday at …
