“If you can’t let me in, can you at least buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack?” asked Lohmann.
Photo by Julia Wong
First-year communications major June Lohmann has reportedly left her dorm key in her room for the third time this week. After she texted her roommate Melanie Juniper to let her in, Lohmann claimed the incident was “a show of solidarity with the baseball players who are currently locked out of the offseason.”
In December of 2021, the MLB enacted a lockout after its collective bargaining agreement with the Player’s Association expired without a new agreement. The work stoppage has postponed the Rule 5 Draft and prevents any financial transactions until new regulations are agreed upon. “It’s so awful how they’re locking the players out of the stadiums. That’s where they live,” Lohmann said. “More like Cold Stove Season,” she added.
On her roommate’s actions, Juniper said, “I hadn’t known June liked baseball. Or unions.” According to Juniper, outside of her recent interest in the MLBPA, Lohmann’s hobbies include yoga, songwriting, and “not caring about sports.” Juniper added, “It’s not like it’s a bad thing to read the news. But I wish she would just talk about it normally, instead of mumbling about CBAs and ERAs and BPAs when she wakes me up to let her in at 1 a.m.”
Blake O’Reily of the St. Paul Robins commented, “I don’t know who this is, but I guess it’s cool she’s raising awareness. Have you ever tried to Google ‘baseball strike?’”
“I know my audience isn’t huge,” said Lohmann. “Mostly Melanie. But since I forget my keys three times out of ten, hopefully she’s so aware at this point she’ll mention the lockout to other people.” Juniper’s friends have noted an increase in how often she talks about the MLB lockout. However, they report many of her comments are focused on “how much of a pain it is to go up and down five flights of stairs just to hear June defensively repeat a poor recollection of something she read last week.”
“I don’t know how halfheartedly committing to a dispute about baseball regulations is easier than apologizing to me,” Juniper said. “I feel like she could spend one-tenth of the effort on remembering to get her keys.” Lohmann herself estimated that she spends thirty minutes a week on self-guided research, commenting, “So, I think I’m pretty dedicated to the cause.”
While Juniper appears doubtful of the effects of Lohmann’s methods, statistics suggest students are following in Lohmann’s footsteps. Ten students locked themselves out of their dorms this week, a two-person increase from the previous week. Additionally, anecdotal evidence indicates increased awareness of the issue on campus. One student, when asked for comment on the lockout, responded, “I hadn’t heard about it until just now. I’d say awareness is definitely on the rise.”