10. Throat shredded cheese
9. Queerbait
8. Wake up from your 15-hour nap
7. Imagine yourself winning an argument
6. Learn how to play drums
5. Ponder the holes in Lewis’s Theory of
Concrete Possible Worlds
4. Stare at the ceiling until you start to see something
3. Ferment peach wine
2. Finally start that one assignment
1. E-beg an e-girl for e-sex

The MQ

The premier satire magazine at UC San Diego.