Volume 28
Bean Bag Shipments to Russia Halted in Support of Ukraine
Following the Russian Army’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine, Mr. Charles Dawkins, CEO of the furniture company Crockery Farm, has announced that bean bag chairs will no …
White People Can Handle Spicy Food and You’re Going to Watch Me Prove It
Hey guys! Welcome back to another challenge video. Now, you may have heard the misconception that White people can’t handle spicy foods, so we here at …
Local Journalist Slammed for Using Snow Cones Instead of Snowclones
San Diego journalist Canderson Hooper has come under fire for bringing snow cones to work instead of writing “mindless drivel” through using snowclones. His boss, Calter …
Crypt o’ Currency
Crypt o’ Currency By Kaz Nuckowski
Genentech Slated to Release Highly Anticipated “Human 2.0” Update
Next Thursday, the biotechnology giant Genentech is expected to release the “long-overdue” version 2.0 of Humanity. The update is said to contain many useful additions, alongside …
Mad Quibs – Barista Brawl
Mad Quibs – Barista Brawl
Self-Proclaimed “Main Character” Dies After Parachuteless Skydiving Attempt
Widespread panic was reported in a small suburb outside San Diego this weekend when a “flying, screaming man” fell out of the sky. Sources later confirmed …
Photoshop Object Select Stops Identifying Women, Claims They Are Not Objects
“Good thing I still have MS Paint on my computer,” said Dugnutt. “Microsoft doesn’t give a shit about objectifying women.”Photo By Sharon Roth Recently, Adobe has …
Paramount Halo TV Show to Include Intern OCs
Paramount Halo TV Show to Include Intern OCS The first trailer for the Halo Paramount TV series released on January 29th to fans across the globe …
CDC Recommends Hiding Vaccines Under Mashed Potatoes to Get Anti-Vaxxers to Take Their Medicine
“The worst part wasn’t the vaccine — it was the fact that the Dino Nuggets were touching the mac ‘n’ cheese,” complained Hetfield.Photo by Robin Brewin In …
