Volume 28
The Crossword
The Crossword SOLUTION Across 1: Fancy seafood order, aphrodisiac 11: What your Southern friend says is that blinking thing in the sky 15: Not me 16: …
Ukraine Moves Country to the Middle of Russia
On Tuesday morning, Russian farmers were surprised by the sight of the nation of Ukraine in their backyards, after Ukraine’s populace picked up their entire country …
Crossword Answers (secret!!!)
Crossword Answers (secret!!!) Don’t tell a soul about these.
Student Creates Hobbit-Hole out of Dorm Room, Lists it on Airbnb
Mackenzie Richards, a third-year mechanical engineering major and business minor, has transformed her dorm room in Rita Atkinson Residences into a Lord of the Rings -inspired …
There’s No Ethical Consumption Under Capitalism vs. Hey, That’s My Lasagna!
Point: There’s No Ethical Consumption Under Capitalism I’m sorry Jon, but suggesting that the social grievances brought on by our capitalist-dominated society can be reformed through …
One Dead and Three Injured in Emotionally-Charged Car Ride
“It was a bloodbath, emotionally speaking,” confided Orin Euphrate. “Technically no one died. It was more of a spiritual death than anything, with Constance being immediately …
Top Ten Things We Learned Not to Talk About at Parties
10. The improv routine that we’ve been practicing9. The types of animals we could beat in hand-to-hand combat8. Why a Hydro Flask is the perfect container …
Paramount Halo TV Show to Include Intern OCs
Paramount Halo TV Show to Include Intern OCS The first trailer for the Halo Paramount TV series released on January 29th to fans across the globe …
Photoshop Object Select Stops Identifying Women, Claims They Are Not Objects
“Good thing I still have MS Paint on my computer,” said Dugnutt. “Microsoft doesn’t give a shit about objectifying women.”Photo By Sharon Roth Recently, Adobe has …
Candy Hearts to Contain More Specific Declarations of Love
“This Valentine’s Day, we’re trying to get a leg up on the competition, nonsexually,” stated Paula Helvetica, head of Marketing at Sweetheart’s Candies. “Studies show that …
