Written by: Aniela Drumonde

“It was a bloodbath, emotionally speaking,” confided Orin Euphrate. “Technically no one died. It was more of a spiritual death than anything, with Constance being immediately reborn as a healthier, more centered person. Trina, Reed, and Rosemarie all agree.”

The incident Euphrate mentioned was a ninehour-long car ride from San Diego to San Francisco, undertaken by Euphrate and their four friends. The first four hours were primarily spent listening to music and discussing various TV shows. Four and a half hours in, however, Rosemarie Stephens mentioned the pressure she was under, trying to maintain her grades while in the throes of a depressive episode. “After that, the floodgates opened. First, Reed admitted his fears that he would need to rethink his entire career path. Trina quietly said that she thought that we would grow tired of her quirks just like everyone else. I, of course, was exempt from emotional upheaval, as they needed me to drive the 3,000 pound vehicle moving at 80 miles per hour,” Euphrate explained. “Then the song “Fast Car” by Tracy Chapman came on, and no one was safe. Constance just started bawling, and wouldn’t stop until we saw the Golden Gate Bridge. She’s fine now. Therapy.”

EIC Elect at The MQ

Former Editor-in-Chief. Like an ouroboros, her jokes consume themselves until no one knows whether they were ever funny. But they are.

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