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Cutting-Edge Computer Virus Sweeps Through Campus
“This would be a beautiful sight if my essay wasn’t on that computer,” one student commented.Photo By Maria Dhilla On Thursday afternoon, the cybersecurity office at …
Local Flint Shortage Sparks Absolutely Nothing
“I was having a real tough time figuring out what to do without any flint,” said Susan Graves, “and then it struck me.”Photo By Julia Wong …
Joe Rogan Defends Controversial Interview with the Devil
After hearing a comment from Satan, Joe Rogan said, “Hey Jamie, can you pull a clip up of that guy burning in Hell?”Photo by Julia Wong …
Student with 300 Tabs Open Wonders Why Computer Is Slow
“It’s a little stuffy in here,” Milieu noted. “Let me open up a new window.”Photo by Maria Dhilla Fourth-year Ava Milieu has recently faced intense public …
April Fool! This Student Has Been Trying to Nurse a Dead Plant Back to Life for the Past Three Months
“It’s just hibernating,” insisted Nohope.Photo by Sharon Roth On March 3, second-year student Theresa Nohope realized her aloe plant had been dead for the last three …
Top Ten Things We Learned Not to Talk About at Parties
10. The improv routine that we’ve been practicing9. The types of animals we could beat in hand-to-hand combat8. Why a Hydro Flask is the perfect container …
UCSD Crane Replaced By Bird
“I’m really worried for the local marine life,” stated Professor Drake. “I saw that thing eat an entire whale yesterday.”Photo by Sharon Roth Residents of Revelle …
March Madness Turns into March Insanity
“I got my final grade from my physics class,” said Riordan. “This is the first time a professor has cheered when I’ve gotten an F.”Photo by …
