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ArticlesCampusNewsUncategorized

Philosophy Student Mistakes Thought for Mind-Blowing Epiphany

Written by: Sharon Roth

Michael of Temecula recently took his Minions out to dinner, only to complain, “This is the last supper! You guys cost way too much money.”Photo By …

Briefs

Bean Bag Shipments to Russia Halted in Support of Ukraine

Written by: Andrew Sitko

Following the Russian Army’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine, Mr. Charles Dawkins, CEO of the furniture company Crockery Farm, has announced that bean bag chairs will no …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

White People Can Handle Spicy Food and You’re Going to Watch Me Prove It

Written by: Taggert Smith

Hey guys! Welcome back to another challenge video. Now, you may have heard the misconception that White people can’t handle spicy foods, so we here at …

Briefs

Local Journalist Slammed for Using Snow Cones Instead of Snowclones

Written by: Maria Dhilla

San Diego journalist Canderson Hooper has come under fire for bringing snow cones to work instead of writing “mindless drivel” through using snowclones. His boss, Calter …

Sunday Comics

Crypt o’ Currency

Written by: Kaz Nuckowski

Crypt o’ Currency By Kaz Nuckowski

Briefs

Genentech Slated to Release Highly Anticipated “Human 2.0” Update

Written by: Aaron Sonin

Next Thursday, the biotechnology giant Genentech is expected to release the “long-overdue” version 2.0 of Humanity. The update is said to contain many useful additions, alongside …