December 6, 2023 Time traveling since 2088. Volume XXX Issue III

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

On Tuesday morning, Russian farmers were surprised by the sight of the nation of Ukraine in their backyards, after Ukraine’s populace picked up their entire country and set it in Russia overnight. The nation pulled off the daring move after President Volodymyr Zelenskyy decided that the war had gone on long enough, and Ukraine needed to end it. Ukrainians reportedly waited for nightfall and tiptoed past the sleeping Russian troops. By dawn, the Russian troops were baffled, with President Putin calling this “the worst thing to happen to Russia since me.”

Zelenskyy came up with the plan a week into the conflict. “I knew we couldn’t hold the Russians off for much longer, and the Ghost of Kiev could only do so much. We had to revolutionize warfare for the better.”

“We knew the Russian troops would stop their attack for the night because we had left millions of rubles on the street for them to gather,” Ukrainian citizen Yevheniya Bronislavivna said.

“The Ukranians outsmarted me,” a solemn Putin said while surrendering. “It’s not every day I find someone smarter than me. Thank God I’m still voted ‘sexiest shirtless, horse-riding man alive.’”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *